i don't remember the first time i heard about p.o. i know that my first year of college, there was a page dedicated to her in my intro to music history textbook. the page probably said something about "new music and women composers" or something like that. i'm actually pretty sure that by the time i read that page, i already had a notion of who she was. i remember listening to her music throughout college and performing many of her pieces whenever i could. the first time i met p.o. was when she came to oberlin for a job talk. i played a recording of a flute piece i had composed. she listened to it, eyes closed, i almost began to wonder if she was sleeping. at the end of it, she said, "it's a really good solo flute piece. the only thing is, the world is full of really good solo flute pieces." i wasn't offended or hurt. in hindsight i'm surprised that hearing any critique from basically a hero of mine didn't result in crushing my spirit. instead, something about p.o.'s attitude, the way she said it, her energy made me hear this comment as: this is very good, but i have a strong feeling you can do even better than very good. that was an inspiration.

later, during her campus visit, she sat in on a rehearsal of my experimental music ensemble, "les moutons." just her presence electrified us. she even joined in on one of our pieces.

the next year, she came to teach at oberlin for one short-lived semester. it was a scramble to get into her studio. she is one of the most famous living "art" composers. i don't remember how or why, but she let me into her studio. i was so relieved and eager to learn composition from a woman for the first time since i got to oberlin. but by that point in college, i was angsty and rageful about progressive politics and identity struggles. i believe that at times i was brash, even rude to p.o. but she was always supportive and understanding, seeing beyond my rudeness.

that summer, i interned at her non-profit. there, i spent my time filing her roomfuls of stuff, toting equipment, and meeting several curators, benefactors, and legends of american new music. p.o. attracts many different types of people: some eccentric, some spiritual, some even slightly orientalist. but i realize now that all the people i met that summer were good natured and open, regardless of how famous or successful they were. almost every one of them asked me to send them recordings of my music and offered to look at scores. even though that summer was marred by my angst and personal dramas, what i learned working for p.o. and meeting her colleagues has stayed with me to this day.

this piece, part of a triptych for certain "mentors" in my life. p.o. encountered much adversity during her time as a composer. she told me that once she performed a recital for one audience member. another time, she put on a concert and the review of it was one line: "it was shit." despite this adversity, p.o.'s, music has been meditative even transcendental. she has never been afraid of confrontation, but is still very skillful at converting negativity into something constructive. i always felt this was because of her ability to dream. thus the word in this piece.