a few years back, we had arranged to have thanksgiving dinner with our friend, a.c., her partner, and some friends. it was the first thanksgiving kim and i were to spend in our own home. we were excited about the whole ordeal. two nights before, i carefully created a brine using certain herbs that you can only find at fancy grocers. the midday that wednesday, i meticulously placed the turkey in the brine in a special bucket i had bought specifically for that purpose. i was very ready. thanksgiving day came and kim was very sick. we had to cancel our plans. to this, a.c. asked, "could we have your turkey?" have spent so much time prepping it, i was indignant at the thought and just said "no." luckily, a.c. and friends managed to procure a turkey even on thanksgiving day. at the time, i was just confused and apologetic for not being able to celebrate with our friends. i have since cooked for a few thanksgiving gatherings, and i realized that when i had said no to a.c., i was really leaving her in a lurch. i have felt genuinely sorry ever since. so when i decided to create a piece for a.c., i just kept imagining the turkey i never gave her.
a.c. is a very accomplished scholar. i used one of her books as a main text for my thesis. her most recent specialty is about the political implications of "feelings" and how we come to express those "feelings" publicly. along with being a scholar, a.c. is also a dancer, a guerrilla artist and journalist, a yoga teacher, and also a generous friend. one of kim's nicknames for her is "the bodhisattva." she was also raised catholic, something her and kim often talk about. when i think about the turkey, i often feel wracked with guilt. i suppose this is my virtual confession.
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